FAIL.

Okay, so I know I whine about nursing school a lot. I really do. I am grateful of being in the program (I better be, I nearly killed myself trying to get in on my second try), but sometimes it's hard to show it when it is SUCKING soooo bad right now.

I studied all weekend, non-stop for the test I had on Monday. Word on the block was that this one was suppose to be easier...but I still studied like there is no tomorrow because Pathophysiology is an evil, evil class! I got my grade last night. I failed. Again. I do not do bad in school...I work too hard and I make it happen somehow every time. I've never even got a C in a course in my entire academic career. But so far this semester, I've gotten a B and 2 Ds in this god awful class.

Right now, I have a 70.8% average on my Pathophysiology tests. You need a minimum of 71% on the tests/quizzes combined. And of course, if my other course work doesn't meet that average as well, I am failed from the class and kicked out of the program.

Last night, my friend Sharon was over to work on our group presentation and we saw our grades posted together. She's doing better than me, but we're still in the same boat of being terrified of getting kicked out. We calculated that I need a minimum of a 52/70 on the next test and a 5/7 on the next quiz to pass the class with a minimum of 71.6%. Wow. That means I can only miss 9 questions to pass. I know that sounds do-able, but you have NO IDEA how tricky they made these tests. It's like they're trying as hard as possible to set us up for failure. I missed 11 questions on this last one 12 on the one before that, and 6 on the one at the beginning of the semester. Props to everyone who passed or is passing this class with flying colors. You amaze me!

This is REAL life right now. It's crazy how one little test in one little class can determine so much of my future. If I fail, I have to wait a year and I get ONE more chance to take and pass the class. If I fail, I'm done with all nursing programs in the Cal State system. They don't allow you to fail two classes. No matter if it is in the same semester or not. You only get ONE mess up.

As horrible as it sounds, it's nice that I have about 1/3 of the class right there with me. I'm not positive, because it's just an estimation based on the comments I've heard, but either way, at least I know I'm not the only one.

I'm still in amazement by how some of these questions are truly chosen to pick to see if we are eligible for the next semester. I don't get it. I know I rock my clinical rotations. I work so hard to make sure I learn more and more every day and put myself out there to gain practice in more skills and patient interactions each day. And it pays off. I've had great experiences with all my patients. And I am loving what I do. It's scary to think that this could all be taken away from me in one month because I am not as good at test taking as I am smart. And I am most DEFINITELY not a good guesser!

No matter how much I try to fight it, I am going to have a pit in my stomach and secret anxiety jitters for the next month. I am going to live by my Patho books. It is going to kill me, and maybe even bring down my grades in other classes, but I just have to pass. Thankfully, I have a handful of friends in my cohort who have offered to help me and work with me so we can get through it together. Doing this alone would suck. This is seriously going to take all the energy I have left in me.

I'll be in my room, alone, studying for the next month. Please excuse me from being antisocial until summer when the decision has been made. :/

A little positivity before I ruin myself with all this negative rambling. This awful, horrible thing called nursing school, is just a friendly reminder that the rewards will be equally as good. 2 more years to go until I can begin rebalancing:

70th Birthday

This weekend, my boyfriend's grandpa had a huge 70th birthday party at my boyfriend's family's house. Unfortunately, I was locked away in his room, with my headphones on, studying for my most dreaded test ever: Pathophysiology/Pharmacology.

Because I was in there for 12 hours straight. I decided I needed to make an appearance, even if for an hour. I through on a dress real fast-like (I can't even remember the last time I wasn't wearing sweats/workout clothes, aye!) and went down to visit for a little while. I HATE how nursing school is making me feel bad about socializing...ever! But the end is coming near and I've got to step it up if I'm going to make it out of these classes.

I'm not gunna lie, the party looked like a good time. Who says you can't still throw and awesome party on your 70th birthday?! ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDPA JERRY! :)

NAMI 5k Walk at Point Loma

Yesterday, a bunch of us from my nursing cohort went down to Point Loma to do a 5k walk for NAMI (National Association of Mental Illness) for extra puntos for my psychiatric health lecture class. My professor wanted us to represent where she works aside from school, Aurora. The students who participated in the walk are allowed to miss a day of pscyh clinical...and I'm taking that Friday off to go visit my Cindy and see her graduate! CRAZY!! I'm jealous ;)

Michelle came down from Murrieta and met me at my house to drive down together. Haha, and we almost ran out of gas looking for a gas station in all the wrong places...stupid gas sucking car!!

We got there just in time for the walk to start, although we were running through the streets of Point Loma looking like freaks and not knowing where to go, haha.

Doing some warm-up acrobats

Michelle, Christine and Michelle

Everybody starting the walk...with our new photo bombing friend

Doing some yoga in a pretty grassy area ;)

DONE! There is no way that was a 5k because we were done in 30 minutes. AND we stopped to do random yoga poses at least 3 times. Haha oh well!!

Twins!

Flagpoles

Now I just have to kill my Pathophysiology test tomorrow, do a few more assignments for the rest of the week and in just over a week, I'm off to Utah to see Cindy for 5 days!!

Can't wait!! :D

Health, Love & Fitness

So, I made a new blog and attached to this blog. There is a link to it in the tabs at the top of this blog.

I'm not sure how committed I'll be (especially with this whole nursing school things getting in the way, haha), but I'm gunna give it a try! I'm planning on posting recipes, workouts and other health & fitness related things...gotta start writing more about the things I plan to involve my career around! :)

Here is a link to it for now. Share it, follow it, or read it if you want. Maybe I'll find some more people to share the same interests with! 

Haha, I'm not too savvy on this social networking thang, but we'll see how it goes! 

http://healthloveandfitness.blogspot.com

Simulation Lab

This week, we had our first simulation lab in clinical. We meet at the school instead of the hospital and we get to simulate a real-life scenario with the robot dummy we have at school. I thought this was really cool, and a great learning experience! We were videotaped and the rest of the students got to watch the live feed from the other room, so we got to learn from what they did right and wrong. Each time a new student went in, was like "shift change" so we all had the same patient as if the day were going on in fast forward. I'm really glad they changed the way they did this...before, the students who hadn't gone yet had to wait in another room that doesn't watch the live feed, and I feel like that would just hinder the learning. 

I was a little nervous going into it, until I found out that it was an ungraded activity, so all the stress was off my shoulders and I just got to play nurse for 15 minutes without someone over my shoulder watching my every move. Although, that would be important in the real life, of course...but I think the dummy could handle a little error or two ;)

We got to school at 8:00am that day and later found out that our sim appointment was not until 1:00pm -_-

After we all did our patient teaching presentations (EASY. I could talk for DAYS about nutrition to a patient, haha), we had 3 hours to kill. Michelle, Gina and I decided we were sick of studying and decided to go kill our antsy-ness at the Discovery Lake across the street from campus and climb half of Double Peak...in our scrubs.

Haha, yes. We looked like losers. But it was better than sitting in a classroom all day telling myself I SHOULD be studying or doing something productive for school ;)

Discovery Lake...so pretty, yet so nasty on the inside, haha

Gina and Michelle

White shoes for uniform are overrated. Nike rebels. My knees and back thank me!

Haha, love my nursing twin, Michelle :)

Bahaha...wildobeasts

Budokon Yoga

Today, Lindsey and I finally got our chance to do a Budokan yoga workshop! I've been waiting a long time for this day! Because of my tight nursing student budget, I'm limited to only the yoga classes offered at 24 Hour Fitness. A couple weeks ago, one of my favorite instructors at all of the gyms, gave a sample seminar of this Budokon yoga, and I loved it! It was a high energy and constant fluid movement class that was a surprisingly intense workout. And it made my body feel extra good (and tired) afterwards. So, I saved up the $20 to sign up for her Budokon yoga workshop to give the full flow and 2 hour class a try!

Budokon yoga is a fairly new style of yoga which combines yoga and martial arts. It mixes the postural tissue strengthening of yoga and the athletic push of martial arts. I thought it was similar to Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu with yoga mix. It suppose to be great for joint strengthening by increasing synovial fluid and stretching and utilizing deep tissue fasciae.

Anyway, I obviously loved it. She will be starting a weekly class soon, so it looks like I might have to start saving up money for a REAL yoga studio! She also mentioned that Budokon training is pretty affordable (for yoga teaching anyway) and is only $495 in Miami Beach, Florida. Obviously I wouldn't be able to do any of that soon, but it's something to look forward to one day!

Here are some of the crazy things we did (or that I attempted) in class today:

Take a look at some of the videos on their Facebook by clicking here: Budokon San Diego

Reminiscing of Europe

This Spring Break has been a nice break from school, but not so much from the studying and homework. Even though I've been working my butt off REAL hard this entire semester, I am still so behind and have so much to catch up on in these last 5 weeks of school.

Yikes...5 weeks...

Anyway, today while I was working on some projects for school, I couldn't help but keep thinking about my study abroad in Spain. I think about it A LOT! I am still so grateful that I got the opportunity to go when and where I did. It was perfect timing. I met a great group of people and saw amazing things on a daily basis.

It's really a hard feeling to describe...feeling in awe and just SO happy to be where you are and doing what you're doing. Don't get me wrong, I consider myself a happy person and love where I'm taking my life...but being in the nursing school grind is not really an incredibly "awe inspiring" lifestyle.

Looking back, I realize how much happiness and gratefulness can really have a major effect on my life and health. My skin was flawless. My stomach problems were gone. No allergies. I know it's part of the "Spain thing" to eat healthy, but it was beyond that.

It's a great reminder for me to remember to take my life where I want to take it. Do what I want to do and what makes me happy. I worked SO HARD to get into this program, and have gotten to a point where I almost hate what it's doing to me because I am SO stressed and SO busy all the time. I feel like I've isolated myself from my friends and family...which I hate. But to remember how badly I wanted to get it, I keep the print out of the one TEAS test score that got me in. It gave me the 4 extra points to make the cut off from the previous year I didn't get it. I have it hanging on my bulletin board as an occasional remind that I WANT THIS!

2 more years and I am done. I can take a break and go back out and see the world! I can't wait to work per diem and take weeks off at the time to go explore the rest of the world.

I will REALLY need some soul feeding after this program.

I'm glad I have the memories of Spain to keep my head up and not get bogged down by the negative side effects that this program has on me.

Haha I'm a free spirit, I wasn't made for this prison! ;)

I miss you España!!

Casa de las Campanas

Last Wednesday, I had my first job interview in 5 years at a luxury retirement living community in Rancho Bernardo. My friend from my nursing program used to work there, and put a good word in for me and any other nursing students who were interested in the job. After I thought about it, I realized I really only had ONE formal and personal one-on-one interview before, and that is when I was 16 working retail! Everything else was a group interview or joke interviews created by the moms I used to nanny for. I didn't know what to expect or really what to say, but I just went for it! After these past 2 semesters in nursing school, I've learned I can talk about myself all day if I needed to! Especially in relation to my "nursing" skills.

My pre-interview, "wish me luck" face :/

The interview was surprisingly quick. It was my potential future manager and an RN I would be working with and they just asked me about my experience in nursing school and how to handle certain scenarios. I have tests almost weekly on things like this so that was cake for me! But because the interview was only 10 minutes or less, I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. She said she had a couple more interview and will let me know soon!

WELL!! Yesterday, a week later, I got a call saying that I was hired as their new Per Diem CNA!

YAY!!

I'm excited! This is going to be a great job for me! Because I will be working per diem, I will not have a strictly set schedule. She will send out a monthly calendar and I get to pick which days and shifts I want to work, as long as I work at least 2 days per month...PERFECT flexibility with school! I meet with HR tomorrow to go over some paperwork and start the process of background checking and getting exams done, and as soon as I finish that, I start my orientation in each of my 3 areas: independent living, dementia unit, and assisted living. Hopefully I'll have all of that done before the end of April so I can pick my shifts for May!

I'm planning a camping trip to the Yosemite area during my 2 weeks before I start summer semester! I gotta get dibs on the good shifts so I can make a little summer money before then! 

:D

Questhaven Hike

This weekend, Dalton and I went looking for a new hike in the area. My brother went on a bike ride the other day and ran into some trail in Elfin Forest, and I've heard of some pretty hikes in Questhaven, so we went to go attempt to find them. We ended up at a church (which all my friends used to be scared of) at the end of the road. We saw a gate to a trail, with nowhere to park, so I walked up the the church office and asked them about any trails in the area.  Turns out that that gated place wasn't just a church, but also a nature retreat, and they had A LOT of beautiful trail...really, the prettiest hike I've been on in California. The pictures don't do it justice.

The trail paths were kinda narrow and surrounded by tall trees or bushes, so you felt like you were in the middle of a forest! 

View from one of the peaks on the hill. You can't see it in this picture, but next to those little trees on top of the hills in the distance is the church's cross and it has it's most difficult hike leading up to it. We didn't have time to do that area over there before it got dark, but we'll be back!!

Yoga break in a little meadow on top of a hill.

Pretty bright green grassy trails!

There was this little rocky knoll that usually has a waterfall and creek...but we're a little too early for that, so we'll have to come back to see it again!

We took a detour on our way back to the church on a different trail and it had cute little bridges over the creek

By the invisible waterfall...

This is where the end of our last trail took us. You can see how tall and pretty the brush was. Where the grass gets really green in the picture is the trail path. I still can't get over how colorful it was over there!

Loved it! Can't wait to bring some more friends here!

:)

Easter

On Easter, my brother and I spent the morning with my mom and Kevin for Easter breakfast. Mmmmm :) My mom's the best because she makes sure everything is "Katie proof" if she can manage! GLuten free and dairy free! She even found me some organic turkey bacon! Yummaaay.

 Later, we went over to our Aunt Dale's house for Easter lunch and an egg hunt with the kids. They've recently moved into a huge beautiful house in the "ranches" of Vista. It's so pretty back there!

My Uncle Ed took us around the property showing us all their cool fruit trees in their orchard. This green spiky fruit is called a rambutan. And it HURTS! Haha, I stabbed myself too many times with that thing. I guess, when it's ready to eat, it turns deep pink/red and you can cut it open to a white egg-like shaped fruit that tastes kinda like a grape! Like this:

SO COOL, right?! 

They also had a bunch of cherimoya trees. I've heard of this fruit before, but never seen it. It's suppose to have anti-cancer, anti-malarial, anti-wormy (that's how I like to refer to anti-helminthes) properties.

 The only fruit they had that I actually tried was this sapote. And it was good! I guess it was used to sweeten food instead of cane sugar, before it became popular and accessible. But I'm sure they still use it. It's really sweet and it seems like foreign exotic areas like this usually have their nutrition figured out a little better than us fools up here in the US, haha.

Anyway, I just thought this was really cool! I think the rambutan is a south Asian thing and the sapote and cherimoya is from South America. I can't wait to start growing some exotic trees of my own! Delicious!! :)

After lunch, the kids did their Easter egg hunt...guerrilla style. We did this when I was we were kids too. They find an egg, take out the money, take it to the sidelines and we throw the empty eggs at them to freeze them. Haha, it kinda give the babies a chance to get ahead.

And like usual, the golden egg was lost. Even the golden egg hider couldn't find it, haha. Right as we were about to give up, Mikey found it in a bush no one even thought of looking in for some reason! 

This year, they set up a mini (and super hard) egg hunt for the "big kids" (age 35 and under) and between the 6 of us, we had to find 21 eggs. 2 off which were worth "big" money. Some of them were hard!! I found out at the end, that I looked under a statue and thought I saw nothing under it, and it ended up being the egg with the most money in it! Haha ugh, I've learned my lesson about not being thorough...

Afterwards, the kids went up to play in the pool, and I wish I brought my swimsuit, because I ended up getting just as wet! The kids made me go on the zip over the pool with my clothes on...and I didn't end up falling, but the splashing got me just as much!

I never realized how big their property was at this house, I'd only been inside the main living area before. They have a beautiful house! Definitely worth the move!

Carlsbad State Beach

The week before my Spring Break began was a little slower than usual at school, because we had our last test that Monday and then I just had to get through the week with normal assignments. So, after clinical last Tuesday, I went and stayed with the Millers and Brewers at their campsite at Carlsbad State Beach. Even though this is where I grew up, I still love visiting the campsites every now and then. There's just something about sleeping and waking up in a tent on a cliff by the ocean that makes me a little extra happy :)

It was surprisingly a warm day there, even though it had been cold and cloudy by the cost for the past couple days. We hung out and I watched them play beach games and Eric's dad made carne asada for dinner. MMMMM!!

Oh, and I got my first REAL tandem bike experience with Lindsey! Haha, now I want one! Even though it was a little sketchy...

I love it there. I'm strongly considering using the money to get a campground for a week over summer, even though I'll be in school. I'm definitely down for sleeping in a tent for 5 days and walking up with crazy hair and going to my OB clinical! 

Now I just gotta find some friends to join me! ;)

CINDY!! That means you!! :D